PASUM LIFE

IM SOOOOOOO TIRED
literally tired. sem 2, thinking i will cover all subject better than sem 1,
but i just could not keep up with the phase.

feeling tired and devastated.

even tho i'm having a hard time, thank you friend for buying me a gift and wrote a cute note letter for me. its really worth something as all my fatigue cool down for a bit..

thanks izzati for the warm heart. may always be happiness surround your life. your little act of kindness may seems small deal, but give big impact to others.

today, pasum student did exchange gift so i was hoping to get one, but i did not put a high hope on it as last time i did for the balloon gantung like literally could not find my name.
but tonight found a small cookies wrapping out nicely from my friend with a little note. oh myyy cair. :)

MY OPINION

sometimes, it just make me sad to think that are some people give a ridiculous and absurd statement on some matters. it as if they had no valuation or different perspective to look at.

it just, im tired of saying that ' diorang ni ckp mcm orang tk belajar memang mcm tkde ilmu'
but they are all the same, belajar or not, some people would just leave comments.

but i tried to tell myself itu suara rakyat, but there will be a limit to it.
on certain issues, let me told you a story of mine (it is quite not haahahaha i dont know)

one day, me and my dad and my sis ofc was on the way back from university to our home when suddenly we come across talking about law implementation (obv bcause my sis ambik law kan tkkn nk ckp psl medic lak dgn ayah; my dad had lost of interest in geography but mostly general knowledge, wise man indeed :) )
n then he told me about common law how this law was usually became the source for most of the lawyer to refer or judge to refer regarding certain cases that had not yet happened in certain country. but he said right now kite pon dh tk rujuk sgt common law because we had our own now, dgn ape ehh ( aduh sorry lah i ambik sains hayat hehe so mse die ckp dpt tngkp sikit sikit je )

ok lps tu i said to him why kite tk buat kite punye negara mcm negara luar ehh ( i think i asked him something about negara america or british, i cant remember hahaha sorry!)

then he gave me a simple answer
"izzah, what must be good to the other country does not meant that it must be good to our country, thus, in malaysia, we come from different background, nationality, ethnic, religion and races. so there are lots to consider in this matter of law"

time tu rasa mcm wooooooooooo.... okay.. hahahahaha he is indeed a wise man.
but spoil lah part penting kite lupe lakk aduh hehehe sorry but tu je lah

before you said that kenapa kite tk buat macam negara luar, use entertainment to support country, or other stuff lah. act i love malaysia. to tell you the truth, i bet some of government people  had tried their best to make our country the best country by curahkan their ideas for us.
so before you judge kajiii dulu. and if you did, give a comment that will give benefits.

once my dad asked my opinion what i think about ' kite buat mcm negara luar, mempertahankan kampung melayu as a source of attraction, mcm negara luar"then i told him that i dont know but i understand that kind of mentality.
then he told me " izzah you know what, everyone have their own different perspective, kalau budak engineer die akan fikir lain town planner die fikir lain history of geology fikir lain so kite tk boleh sesama kite berbalah utk tahu sapa yg menang" seeeeeeeeeee debate is good but thinking who might win is not soo you know...

SO IN CONCLUSIONNNNN
i think that all of us have different opinion and perspective that they look at.
but know one thing, what must be good to others does not meant it must be good for us ok.
every country have their own strength and weakness. so it is up to us to decide which solution would be the best to overcome the weak and improve the strength

those lingering feeling

you know what is funny..

there are few boys mintak couple to me. and then my reply towards them was all similar.
i told them that i already have a boyfriend (which is invisible hehe >.<)
like it is not that im being picky or what so ever, it just that, i know im not that kind or good. but i want the best man for me. act, i don't want my future husband to get my left over. full max with him hahaha (itu sakai, pls ignore ayat tu hahaha malu gak)
ok. anyway. couple to haram, im not being kuno or orang pannggil apa tuu. bajet lah tk open minded lah. whats haram is haram. why should i be open minded upon smthing that haram for me. serius cari nahas. nnt aku gak kene tanggung dosa tu sbb mentality 'open minded' sesetengah orang.
apelah..

my advice is if a man know what best for you, he appriciates your decision. and good man would not as i repeat would not ask us to do bad things if he dont want to carry your dosa once you are married to him (kalau dia ajak lah)

n then i always ask myself that... WHY SOME MEN LIKE WOMAN THAT ARE PRETTY SMOOTH SKIN BUT WOMAN CAN ACCEPT MAN YANG HMM (TP HATI BAIK WOO HEHE )

But the word beauty is act quite subjective.  everyone beauty serius wehh. tkde Allah ciptakan manusia tnp kelebihan. serius semua ada kelebihan. it just you who decide to cherish it or to lose it. but some people still wonder what talent do they hold. nvm. keep searching. there is always a way !! trust me!

and aduh nk smpi part funny nye tu hahahaha sokay atas tu muqaddimmah sikit. ok. then kan, one day i sat near the car window( tepi sekali) smbil looked outside fefeeling as sad song played by the radio, aircond breeze acted as a wind. and all this movement outside literally made you deep in thought. then my family talk about crush day wtv lah semua semua tu then tetibe terdetik, tkpe nntaku msg boyfriends aku, you know the feeling when you have boyfriends that feeling feeling of sokay him will text me. the question is... who is this him guy? hahahaha then it just hit me. that i had no boyfriend

sorry to waste your time on this ridiculous yet not funny story hahahaha. but you the feeling of having a boyfriend due to myself keep saying that i have one to the boys. hahahaha haihhhhh what a feeling

there was once in my life. I asked myself wether I'm normal like everyone else. or not.
maybe I'm not.
the way I looked, the way I dressed up, the way I looked at people.
I just wished once in my life. a human any kind of human being just click and understand my struggle.
but in reality they are not. in the end. only Allah could save me.
I asked myself again. oh Allah why me why? why I must face this?
as I walked down my path, I started to think oh Allah it's me yes it is indeed.
that's why through out my entire life I never get really upset on something if I did, I know whose to deal with.
and that's what we called redha my friends :-)
peringatan for me and everyone of you life isn't easy but what ever you are struggling with no one can help you accept Allah. when you realise that that is when you had the courage to accept the things that are happening the things that had change over the years and the things that unexpected.

yeah to tell you the truth im like everyone else with full emotion my negative thought and feelings can only be control with something thats bring positive feed:keep in prayer and doa as always Allah with you always and forever
:-) :-)

THAT LIFE

NOW LIFE AT PASUM

to tell you the truth, it is not that i gave up to learn or anything it just drove me crazy when i think of my friends who had lot of cuti time given to them rather than me. yeah... u may look it as simple and stupid, but if you are to mentally and physically tired, youll know what i meant.

its been only like 2 month staying here but i already cried as it was to hard to catch up with everything. on theverge, i called my sis for help (didn't strong enough)

AND she told me that.....

a good useful sleep without thinking anything is the best remedy.
just dont think of hw and all kemon lah universiti life. tkde spe marah kalau tk siap hw.

then i did what she told me. and this may sound stupid and unintelligent but IT WORKS AHAHAHAHAHAHA TK FIKIR HW APA JUST TIDUR JE...
esok nye g lecture fresh as ever. then mlm tu tidur awl kol 3 bgn just to study kejap lps tu kol 5 tidur balik.

and u know what. i can manage to do my hw and all plus study for a little bit (InsyaAllah faham kot hehe) and
yeah that is one thing that when i look at people in the audi one thing most of them missed is a good deep sleep (brp kali tgk org menguap time lecture)
i dont mind people said that i slept a lot (sbb in between lecture rehat tu tidur wktu gap rehat tidur lg haha)

try take your time by being selfish of ur own sleep. skrng masuk u strategy main peranan. belajar membuta mmg tk mmpu. tk jd apa. lg bler ade lah.

and one more thing it is not that i like to look at people, but the way they act, it showshow their life would be. kite ikut apa yg diajar "learn from other people mistakes" thats how you improve yourself to become a better person. waiting for things to get in your way would just drive you more crazy you know/

life is simple if you think it as simple.
thats my advice. and another thing. Remember Our Creator, Allah S.WT. semua nye Allah tentukan. mintak je insyaAllah.

hello!!
you're just been born my dear blog :))

dr dulu nk tulis but yeah how stupid am i to even forgot my own password for the last blog. lol. haha
u know what, everytime i get into my own moment of thinking, i just though about what to write in my blog, but as i was saying i forgot the password. so my own though just saving in my draft inside  my head hehe

as i was getting through my high school year in jess, i realised how i'd grown. (it's freaking me out sometimes but it just part of learning in life :)

this is out of blue but its true the fact that as you got older your surrounding will be different. there's no acception in friends too.
yes it bumps me that as i got older people could leave you even though you sometimes felt apologetic if you did something wrong which you kinda try to figure out what is going wrong.

OH HAHAHAHA THIS IS FUNNY. WHENEVER I TRIED TO WRITE MY OWN FEELING ABOUT LIFE, THEN I TRIED TO READ IT AGAIN I SIMPLY CAN'T EVEN UNDERSTAND WHAT IM SAYING.. LIKE "HUH?" HAHAHA WITH A FROWN FACE WITH ONE EYEBROW UP. YOU KNOW.

bukan tried to be lame or ape but its true. even my dad said it as well
"bile as you achieve higher, you'll feel more lonely as friends will leave you behind"
thats what my dad said, well he is a type of guy that value his friends :)) (being sweet started to creep me out!!)

and wanna know what my mum said
"youll never feel lonely if you keep yourself buzy" but yeah its true as well it shows how she hates wasting time and value her life.

but the thing is you always need moral support from someone. your family, or friends can help you but only momentarily.

tp nk thu satu bende tak and im so thankful to Allah.
when you feel needed in moral support, no one can gives you one accept yourself. you need to change the way you think, the way you feel and tried to save your life emotionally.
and yeah sometimes it reaches limit you know like i can't pikir baik all the time like i can't buat bende selalu just untuk satisfy kan diri

but you know what...
JUST KEEP PRAYING
JUST KEEP DOA

AND you only need to believe Allah will save you. Allah will help you. then,, you will feel a lot calmer and hati tenang jee!!! best kan!

but in order to feel that you need to make your own effort to dekatkan diri kepada Allah ( thruthfully, bukan berniat nk mengajar just nk beri peringatan utk sesama kite to all and most to my self) it takes time..
"Allah takkan ubah nasib sesuatu kaum melainkan mereka pilih untuk berubah dengan sendiri"

im not that baik and i know im not that intelligent either (i tried to beat top student at least huhu)
and im not that sempurna
 thats all :))

me and my twin hehe how cute blerh