my problems, i can solve it on my own. i'm strong cos i only shared my prob w Allah and only ask for Allah's help. when i rely on humans, i started to feel uneasy and guilty.
WHY DO I WANNA BE A DENTISTRY?
Tuesday, 20 June 2017
idk
every time i tell someone how i feel, i always feel nervous cos telling someone usually not going to help me from solving the prob. instead, it's only add up to more problems. most of them did not listen, i haven't finish, they already giving me their advice. not being selfish or anything, but i don't wish to here any, their feedback seems like a judging one. so, i couldn't be bothered.
Sunday, 18 June 2017
it is fate
people like to look down on me. sometimes they think that i'm not capable of doing work that is too heavy, as they see the side of me that is very girly and polite.
i didn't mean to judge them as they judge me, but what they said really put me in an ignorance and annoyance mood. they just put me down on the level that they see me.
i just know... i believe... deep down i was born to help others. i was born to be a doctor. i was born to tell people my opinion about action that im gonna took. but,, why it got shaky every time i did those things? they laugh at me. said my opinion is weird. they said i'm easily persuaded. like what else did they want!? want me to rebel and be rude!? then they would say, okay you are a person with philosophy and a strong heart. is it? now my enthusiastic has become an anger. i loose if i let anger control me
so therefore, people out there, you can judge, you can say and laugh, i will always smile and pray for your goodness. and im make sure i do it because i want to do it. and i will be happy being a doctor or dentistry. it is my priority to help whoever in needs.
Saturday, 17 June 2017
wudu'
most people judge Islam because they are influence by media. what media told them, what they hear from others, which could lead to a negative perspective.
but if they truly know and understand what Islam actually is, they will never felt a burden instead, a peaceful religion to begin with.
reason why i choose islam, and why islam will always be in my heart?
before anything else, have you ever see or read about other religion where you find it is too burdensome and extreme? i have. there are some religion mix with superstition which i find no logical meaning behind it. to tell you truth i think it becomes ikutan from ancestor. now a days, most people follow a religion because their parents are from that religion, they didnt ask why are wwe in this religion? why ? why there is actually a religion? i remembered when i was little, my dad forbidden me to think about this matter. at that time i was so mad, like its up to me what i wanna think. but as i grew older, now i understand. because when we are little, our mentality is still not mature. most of our information are influence by the environment. we unable to think logically and decide which one is correct and which one is not. so yeahh,
okay back to the religion part, well yeah, this type of religion i push it aside cause sometimes it just dont make sense. then, i started to look at other religion as well. some of these religion have a very contradict verses of their books. like different books have different verses. where sometimes it is contradict.
one thing about islam, it only got one book , Al quran. everywhere you go there is only one book. i don't know. al quran gives a person an inner peace to whoever read it. Al quran is not only for muslim. i heard from one of the ustaz in surau. he said that islam is not for muslim. islam is a religion for all human kind and al quran is for all human being. we need to read it and know it. because al quran write about how we should live, what is right what is wrong, scientific knowledge of how we were born. it just so deep. scientist said 80% of the alquran is correct. and the remaining 20% is vague ( it is not known yet whether it is true or not which means they still discover the truth about Alquran) (im sorry if this info wrong but that is what i heard from dr zulkarnain)
and, i just love islam. you never feel burden. Allah counts your efforts and not how many you did your deeds. all is aboout your effort. and never a burdern. if you can't stand you can pray sit down if you can't sit down u can pray with your back on your bed.
and the best thing about islam is wudu'. where you wash your face, hand, hair, and leg 3 times each time you pray for salah. it just amazing. don't wipe it after you done, leave it. you will feel refresh ofc. but you have this feeling of calmness and wanting this moment to forever last. that is how i feel everytime i take wudu'! no kidding. you need to do it with the mindset of i do this for Allah. MasyaAllah. that is the berkat that Allah gives us.
is i grew older, you know it is hard to maintain your iman (as sometimes you are too busy with the dunia), it is normal. you just have to ask Allah to always walk you to straight path, whatever the reason is.
to people who read this, whether you are a muslim or not, i just wanna say, never afraid to find out about other religion. it will not harm you trust me, only benefits. there will be times where you a stuck and feel hopeless as you know more about religion, it is okay. you are studying. but during your path of study, always believe in Allah. always and always believe that Allah will show you the path and light. just keep trying. never give up. find out about all religions and the truth shall be known. ;)) mkae judgement when you have full knowledge on something okay. and last but not least, im just an ordinary human being who is a believer of Allah, nabi muhammad, and the truth of alquran. i make mistakes, i have my own path where i regret of taking. but that never puts me down. i know Allah loves me that is why He showers me with a feeling full of regret. just keep learning guys... and im still learning :))😆😁
but if they truly know and understand what Islam actually is, they will never felt a burden instead, a peaceful religion to begin with.
reason why i choose islam, and why islam will always be in my heart?
before anything else, have you ever see or read about other religion where you find it is too burdensome and extreme? i have. there are some religion mix with superstition which i find no logical meaning behind it. to tell you truth i think it becomes ikutan from ancestor. now a days, most people follow a religion because their parents are from that religion, they didnt ask why are wwe in this religion? why ? why there is actually a religion? i remembered when i was little, my dad forbidden me to think about this matter. at that time i was so mad, like its up to me what i wanna think. but as i grew older, now i understand. because when we are little, our mentality is still not mature. most of our information are influence by the environment. we unable to think logically and decide which one is correct and which one is not. so yeahh,
okay back to the religion part, well yeah, this type of religion i push it aside cause sometimes it just dont make sense. then, i started to look at other religion as well. some of these religion have a very contradict verses of their books. like different books have different verses. where sometimes it is contradict.
one thing about islam, it only got one book , Al quran. everywhere you go there is only one book. i don't know. al quran gives a person an inner peace to whoever read it. Al quran is not only for muslim. i heard from one of the ustaz in surau. he said that islam is not for muslim. islam is a religion for all human kind and al quran is for all human being. we need to read it and know it. because al quran write about how we should live, what is right what is wrong, scientific knowledge of how we were born. it just so deep. scientist said 80% of the alquran is correct. and the remaining 20% is vague ( it is not known yet whether it is true or not which means they still discover the truth about Alquran) (im sorry if this info wrong but that is what i heard from dr zulkarnain)
and, i just love islam. you never feel burden. Allah counts your efforts and not how many you did your deeds. all is aboout your effort. and never a burdern. if you can't stand you can pray sit down if you can't sit down u can pray with your back on your bed.
and the best thing about islam is wudu'. where you wash your face, hand, hair, and leg 3 times each time you pray for salah. it just amazing. don't wipe it after you done, leave it. you will feel refresh ofc. but you have this feeling of calmness and wanting this moment to forever last. that is how i feel everytime i take wudu'! no kidding. you need to do it with the mindset of i do this for Allah. MasyaAllah. that is the berkat that Allah gives us.
is i grew older, you know it is hard to maintain your iman (as sometimes you are too busy with the dunia), it is normal. you just have to ask Allah to always walk you to straight path, whatever the reason is.
to people who read this, whether you are a muslim or not, i just wanna say, never afraid to find out about other religion. it will not harm you trust me, only benefits. there will be times where you a stuck and feel hopeless as you know more about religion, it is okay. you are studying. but during your path of study, always believe in Allah. always and always believe that Allah will show you the path and light. just keep trying. never give up. find out about all religions and the truth shall be known. ;)) mkae judgement when you have full knowledge on something okay. and last but not least, im just an ordinary human being who is a believer of Allah, nabi muhammad, and the truth of alquran. i make mistakes, i have my own path where i regret of taking. but that never puts me down. i know Allah loves me that is why He showers me with a feeling full of regret. just keep learning guys... and im still learning :))😆😁
Thursday, 8 June 2017
fear of failure
right now, i felt like dumbfounded, blank and perplexed.
during my school time, i always compete with my own self before others. because i have this feeling of i can do it if they can do it.
because i believe practice never betray.
but now.. i felt betray. i tried hard, did what i had to do but why some people just don't have to work hard but are in the level with where i i am right now. i tried thinking i did my best, but when i look at others, i feel soo sad, they had more than me even though we work hard together. i know it is rezeki and luck but i really feel crushed! like i asked myself, can i do this? can i be the best in my own field of study? i told my bro that i want to be a dentistry. im not that passionate about being one. i choose this path because i want to challenge myself. i like to communicate with people directly and love to help others who are in need. but he told me "iza, you are not fit to become one, awk tahu jd dentist ni susah, awk ppunye tgn tak seni lah.." i just went blank. i've having a hard time enough to choose my path and yet there are people who would just do that.
lots of people ask betul ke nk jadi dentistry ni. because they look at me like i have no certainty about my career path. truthfully, i want to be a pharmacist. it's because i like things involving colours and mesurement and pharmacist have this weird name they used for medicine which i like. but then my mum wouldn't approve it. she said that being pharmacist you can't make decision. so she introduce me to medic.. i told her that is the last path i would choose. then she said okay, why don't you be a dentistry? well. ive never though of dentistry before. then i googled up. but takdelah i rasa teruja ke apa. like biasa. but what thrilled me is the surgery they done. the blood part oh my god..... so thrilling!!!!!!! but i asked myself... would i want to be a dentistry? would i want to become a dentistry?
I DOO AND I DOOO.... but you know what's making me pause? terang terang i cakap, i'm not gifted in biology. i tried and tried but my improvement is only a little. i like biology. really i do? i don't hate it. but you know about biology, you felt you write well but your score is too low than you expected. like you never go that bar of yes.. this is what i should get. then... one day, this hatred of bio just come out. i told my friends that i don't want to be a doctor!! never!! or anything related to biology!. i create prejudiced of biology upon myself.
but here i am, applying for dentistry and medic. and i got both offer. im not proud. just grateful that at least i got opportunity. but i'm so damn scared... seriously.... when i look at others. why they are better than me? its okay if i don't work hard and they work their ass off. but in fact, i work as hard as them. my interest in biology is as much as them. why!!!!!!!!!! everywhere i went during my asasi, i would hold and read my biology notes smpi kawan ckp, "kau tkde bende lain ke nk baca.. ashik baca bio je"
BUT WHY MY RESULT IS NOT AS SUPER AS THEIR. WHY MUST I GOT A BIT LESS THAN THEM!!!!!!! WHY!!!!!!!
others subject, i didn't pay so much attention as i know i can do it. (physics especially, i never expect to get A everytime exam. it just too simple and challenging)
you would say im not being grateful... no i am!!! but right now, my path of career is related to biology. i'm scared that because of this subject, i can't help others as much as i can. like i can't give back to the community like i should have. i envy my mum. she can remember medical terms easily and i see her she can do it. well. yes.. im her daughter. i resembled my mum a lot. for instance, in term of stregth, both of us will always got a high score in mathematics ( me i always got high marks in physic while my mum in chemistry). in term of personality, i'm much like her. the difference is that, my mum is so rajin. she can stay studied for hours. while me? i can only sit and study for 30 min, then break then continue ( that my style of study, if i don't do this, i would feel so sleepyyy) and she has so strong daya ingatan. while me? i tend to forget...which is suck.... people would say it's normal but i felt it is a minus point for me. i want to work with people directly. but i can't seem to display my cards if i keep forgetting things. is this my faith? am i choosing the right career path? i just want to be strong....
during my school time, i always compete with my own self before others. because i have this feeling of i can do it if they can do it.
because i believe practice never betray.
but now.. i felt betray. i tried hard, did what i had to do but why some people just don't have to work hard but are in the level with where i i am right now. i tried thinking i did my best, but when i look at others, i feel soo sad, they had more than me even though we work hard together. i know it is rezeki and luck but i really feel crushed! like i asked myself, can i do this? can i be the best in my own field of study? i told my bro that i want to be a dentistry. im not that passionate about being one. i choose this path because i want to challenge myself. i like to communicate with people directly and love to help others who are in need. but he told me "iza, you are not fit to become one, awk tahu jd dentist ni susah, awk ppunye tgn tak seni lah.." i just went blank. i've having a hard time enough to choose my path and yet there are people who would just do that.
lots of people ask betul ke nk jadi dentistry ni. because they look at me like i have no certainty about my career path. truthfully, i want to be a pharmacist. it's because i like things involving colours and mesurement and pharmacist have this weird name they used for medicine which i like. but then my mum wouldn't approve it. she said that being pharmacist you can't make decision. so she introduce me to medic.. i told her that is the last path i would choose. then she said okay, why don't you be a dentistry? well. ive never though of dentistry before. then i googled up. but takdelah i rasa teruja ke apa. like biasa. but what thrilled me is the surgery they done. the blood part oh my god..... so thrilling!!!!!!! but i asked myself... would i want to be a dentistry? would i want to become a dentistry?
I DOO AND I DOOO.... but you know what's making me pause? terang terang i cakap, i'm not gifted in biology. i tried and tried but my improvement is only a little. i like biology. really i do? i don't hate it. but you know about biology, you felt you write well but your score is too low than you expected. like you never go that bar of yes.. this is what i should get. then... one day, this hatred of bio just come out. i told my friends that i don't want to be a doctor!! never!! or anything related to biology!. i create prejudiced of biology upon myself.
but here i am, applying for dentistry and medic. and i got both offer. im not proud. just grateful that at least i got opportunity. but i'm so damn scared... seriously.... when i look at others. why they are better than me? its okay if i don't work hard and they work their ass off. but in fact, i work as hard as them. my interest in biology is as much as them. why!!!!!!!!!! everywhere i went during my asasi, i would hold and read my biology notes smpi kawan ckp, "kau tkde bende lain ke nk baca.. ashik baca bio je"
BUT WHY MY RESULT IS NOT AS SUPER AS THEIR. WHY MUST I GOT A BIT LESS THAN THEM!!!!!!! WHY!!!!!!!
others subject, i didn't pay so much attention as i know i can do it. (physics especially, i never expect to get A everytime exam. it just too simple and challenging)
you would say im not being grateful... no i am!!! but right now, my path of career is related to biology. i'm scared that because of this subject, i can't help others as much as i can. like i can't give back to the community like i should have. i envy my mum. she can remember medical terms easily and i see her she can do it. well. yes.. im her daughter. i resembled my mum a lot. for instance, in term of stregth, both of us will always got a high score in mathematics ( me i always got high marks in physic while my mum in chemistry). in term of personality, i'm much like her. the difference is that, my mum is so rajin. she can stay studied for hours. while me? i can only sit and study for 30 min, then break then continue ( that my style of study, if i don't do this, i would feel so sleepyyy) and she has so strong daya ingatan. while me? i tend to forget...which is suck.... people would say it's normal but i felt it is a minus point for me. i want to work with people directly. but i can't seem to display my cards if i keep forgetting things. is this my faith? am i choosing the right career path? i just want to be strong....
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