about kids

i just have a funny feeling, that sometimes i felt like having kids and sometimes i'm not.
thing about kids is that it is not easy to raise one. and most of us who raises one would probably teach their children different way from how they were treated by their parents. well, it is a norm as these childern is our loves one. ofc we want the best for them right?

well i choose to choose that way..
as i grow, i once told myself that i will not use the same method as my parents in term of parenting. but then i asked myself, can they survive in this harsh world if i teach them that way?

during my childhood, i really have a hard time. to tell you the truth, i found it inconvenient when my parents talked about problems(orgossip) in front of us. because that only gives a negative perspective toward us. then i told myself i would never share my problem ever again in front of my kids... but then again. i asked my self. what if they can't survive in this harsh world? as i did not even shared to them the actual story of society or the real problem in life... as you know, the problem my parents told me were partly why i tried to be careful and take precaution steps in life.

THIS IS JUUST SO DAMN HARD T.T

should i just think this through when i act have one? hope it is not too late ;))